Posted in Confidence, Creative Writing, Femme Fatal, Sexy, Sunset Boulevard, Theatre, Writing

The Gaze of the female

Look at me! I said look at me.There right in the eyes. Is it a seductive? When you look do you imagine unwrapping layers of clothing, letting the silk garments tumble down my body like a waterfall. Do you imagine me naked? Your finger tracing shapes onto my naked flesh until I fall asleep in your arms. Do you want to taste my soul as our mouths lock, searching for a passion to ignite between us. Or do you simply want to use me for your own pleasure.
Do I intimidate you? Make spiders crawl up your ghostly flesh when our eyes meet? Make you want to run away as a tear your soul apart; I can see into you. Untangling your personality and spreading its beads onto the cold stone floor. You know I’ve broken the hearts of men , shattered them like glass. But you find me intriguing, sexy.Thinking I will grant your deepest wishes, your darkest sexual fantasy.You know I am a danger, I can burn you. You don’t retreat,like a moth to a light, you glide towards me hoping I will feel the same way about you.

With one look I can break your heart, with one look I’ll play every part. When I speak it’s with my soul..I can play any role.

The Gaze of a female.

Posted in Advice, blogging, Confidence, Life Lessons, Love yourself, Memories, New Year, Self image, Speaking Out, Student, Teenager, Uncategorized, Writing

The cliche New Year blog 

Hello! I’d just like to wish all my followers and readers a Happy New Year and I hope you all had an amazing Christmas. I’m not going to make this cliche, well all know what 2016 has been a very big ,historical year there was Brexit and Trump winning the US presidential election along with a lot of celebrity deaths. However I feel like I’ve grown up this year and learnt a lot of valuable life lessons.

1.) Change happens for a reason

I know this sounds cliche but I swapped my acting hobby for writing . I never thought that I’d enjoy it but I’ve been able to create a blog , write more poetry and gain more confidence in myself as a writer. As a result I have performed my work at an open mic in my city and even got recognised for it which was lovely and I never expected it to happen.

2.) True friends will stick around

Most of my friends are older and have moved away to university. Despite not seeing eachother, we’ve still kept in touch and met up several times in the holidays. Exploring the city and adventuring into independent restaurants. We still have the bond that we did before they moved which shows that if your friends are true they’ll stick by you.

3.) The only person who decides your self worth is you

This year I have learnt to throw away the negative labels that have affected me and learnt to embrace myself.

4.) Red lipstick 

Is a girls best friend ..Bring out your inner femme fatal.

5.) Never put myself under too much pressure.

I am an A level student ,currently studying for 3 A levels. I am one of those people who revises constantly and never gives myself a break because I want to do well. Sometimes things get too much and I’ll cry over something because I’ve overworked myself. I have learnt to break my revision into 25 minute chunks ,take regular breaks , take time for myself  and don’t feel guilty about taking breaks.

6.) Confidence takes time 

Most importantly I have realised my self worth; beauty doesn’t always come in forms of aesthetic appearance but it can come in forms of intelligence,honesty,kindness,I could go on. I have realised that I am beautiful ,my imperfections are beautiful and show the wars I have battled throughout my seventeen short years. I may still have my bad days but that’s alright everyone has them and you need them to be human . I have learnt to throw the negative labels away and embrace positive ones.

Goals for 2017

Possibly make my blogs more diverse and not just poetry.

Give myself more self love;take time to relax.

Don’t doubt myself 

Say no to things that I don’t have time for.
Thank you for reading and being my followers thus far .I’ve been amazed how many likes and views I’ve had on my blog ;thank you for each and every view, comment or like it is really appreciated. If you have any things you’d like to see on my blog please let me know .

~SS

Posted in Creative Writing, English Literature, Free Verse, lush, Poetry, Writing

Musings from a bath

​Let me sink into to your scarlet blue , and lather my breast plates golden moonlight, whilst I catch the swirling stars. Lather me in dust till the golden pearls drip from my naked frame. Smother me in your colour until I become a creature , an arching goddess whose eyes are as blue as the Atlantic, voice as smooth as honey.  Let the Gods massage silk into my spine until I bleed golden droplets.

Let them bathe me oils until my skin melts away leaving my golden form ,still like darkness. Oh let them weep! Let them decorate the sky with sparkling  tears. While I lay frozen in a sheet of ice. Stars surrounding me and giving me wings.

Let my fly to the heavens and make a home on the moon.

Posted in Creative Writing, English Literature, Photography, Poetry, Romantics, Sunrise, Writing

Siren of the sky

The master of hide and seek , taking refuge behind buildings and trees. Glowing like a medal in the distance; ruining the game.

A flash of lights as vision becomes blurry , head dizzy. Sparkles glowing. A siren , whose eyes lure you; burn you with kisses and leaves a red love bite which remains forever ;creating a glowing reflection. Don’t blink, don’t look away.The siren of the sky  will ache from the heavens and spread a curse.

Frosted tears will spread darkness causing the tufts of grass to turn ashy and weep with icy tears.

Until the siren melts away the grey, creating a colourful haze. Oh eternal siren burn me until you have no fire left. Kiss me until I transform into ash. Your beauty will whip me eternally until you fade into your hilly home.

Oh Siren of the sky, you beauteous form will caress me until my end is neigh. Golden Siren of the sky.

(Apologies for not posting I’ve been very busy with Christmas, I hope you all had a good one too! Happy New Year.))

Posted in Acne, Body confidence, Body image, Feminism, Growing up, Writing

I’m not going to be ugly anymore.

Ever since I was nine my face has been dotted with acne , it was always a stigma that surrounded me people were put off talking to me because of my physical appearance; or at least that’s how it felt. I wouldn’t socialise and spent most of my breaks and lunch times in the library reading and I enjoyed that . There’s a point though to how long reading can last ,until you want to talk to people and you want them to like you . I used to try really hard and bring in sweets and share them round in hope that someone would actually want to talk to me ,or invite me to sit with them for lunch making the first three years of secondary school very difficult; I was just being used because in their eyes I was a “pathetic freak.”

I used to feel worthless, I never had suicidal thoughts but sometimes I thought it was better I disappear ; no body would care if I did. I used to be bullied about my appearance which has left me with lasting physical and mental scars ; often called “gollum.” , “ugly” , “juicy spot.’ , “shiny forehead.” . The list goes on .

Even though this happened several years ago the effects and their words are still felt. Kids can be cruel and think about things in the moment and I suppose if I told them all this today they’d apologise and say they didn’t mean it . But it’s too late . 

Today has given me the confidence to remove those labels from myself and fight those deamons in my head. In today’s society instagram ,facebook is filled with unrealistic images which we can’t all fit . Everyone has had trouble with their appearance and self esteem at some point. 

The thing is I’m not going to let those labels effect me anymore.   The only person who decides how beautiful I am is myself. People label and stigmatise because they have their own insecurities and things they hate so if they make someone feel worse  instead of building them up. 

I feel that if I never accept myself it will affect me and I don’t want it to because my acne will go eventually and I suppose a positive is I’m young enough to get it . Beauty starts from within, it is a combination of aspects that you have to find yourself.  Beauty is not simply aesthetic beauty it is confidence, intelligence, kindness and building each other up not breaking each other down like I’ve said in a previous blog.

Beauty is facing stigma and overcoming it and helping people face theirs. My acne scars are my battle wounds ,I’ve survived the battle and won it.

Here’s to a brighter more confident future.
SS

I have no makeup on !
Posted in Creative Writing, English Literature, Martian Poetry, Poetry, Writers, Writing

Writers

Mechanical robots of words,whose heads are stuck in the clouds of ideas ; in between piles of half read books listening to the eternal whisperings of authors.

Hands always flowing with an inky substance always smudged. Whose eyes act as spies, delving into the pasts of heroes, villains and lovers; their tales vast and lives many.

 Brains scattered with lightning ideas that fizz and pop, come and go . Wake you up in the night causing the ink to leak onto the bed covers.

Whose very existence lives on the taste of paper and never ending cuts. Draining the words like Dracula then placing them back to life like Frankenstein.

Their thoughts and creativity will never die.

The magicians of life.

Posted in Feminism, Feminist, Sexual harassment, Speaking Out, Writing

Was it sexism when ?

Following on from my last blog post ((Bend Clit like Beckham)) I’ve found it has been so gratefully received in such a short space of time. 

I’m going to talk about the invisible plague which effects every single one of us no matter what age, sex, race or gender. Sexism is so engrained in society that it becomes a norm which people adhere to. Until secondary school I wasn’t aware of sexism but it has always been floating. 

I have experienced several sexist encounters and I’m going to share them; I can only speak of mine.It’s taken a while for me to write this because I haven’t know how to word it without being too vulgar or being to direct. Then I think at times we all need to hear the truth, because the truth helps us all understand what is right and wrong; there’s no beauty in truth unless your Keats. (Deep breath) The main reason I’m writing this isn’t for sympathy but to identity and possibly help other people who’ve gone through experiences to identity them and speak out. Even though my sexist experience s and assault has  come from men, I’m not going to do is dehumanise and make monsters out of men because that’s what Feminism is not! Also most men believe sexism is wrong and it would be unfair to tar them with the same brush. Also my male friends have stuck up for me when experiencing a sexual encounter or assault.

Was it sexism when..

At the age of twelve you grabbed my breast and placed your arm around me whilst I was getting food in the local club? ((Just to clarify I don’t condone underage drinking ,it was a party)). But when I reported it  you were drunk so got away with it and it made me feel like I’d done wrong.

At the age of thirteen I was told I wasn’t allowed to play rugby because it was too dangerous for a girl and I’d hurt myself.

At the age of fifteen  I was touched up by a boy in science. He felt my legs , my bum, my hips. When this was reported I was blamed by the school for not reporting it sooner. Then the boy who felt me up (and his friends) teased me for telling because they were only messing about ;I was told not to take it seriously and I shouldn’t be so frigid.

Was sexism when …you marked us all out of ten when we filled out of the PE changing rooms and discussed who you would and wouldn’t shag? I was never the top of your list because according to you I was ugly , too nerdy and would never get a boyfriend. 

Or when you used to slap the bums of the girls mine was always described as “Nice and Juicy.” But you were put off by my “thunder thighs.”

Then there was that time when we were going aerobics and you queued up at the door to watch.

At the age of sixteen I was ridiculed by my fellow female classmates for not shaving my armpits one PE lesson. Even though it was my choice to leave it because I didn’t want to conform to the beauty standards .

Facts and figures

  1.  One in every three girls has experienced ‘unwanted sexual touching in schools
  2. 71% of 16-17 year olds say they hear sexual name calling such as ‘slut’ or ‘slag’ several times a week.
  3. The highest suicide rate in the UK in 2014 was for men aged 45-49 at 26.5 per 100,000  ((I’ve put this statistics in because I feel that men are forced to be masculine and not supposed to express emotions even though they are human and have needs. Before we learn to talk we learn to cry, if you feel down speak up it may save your life! https://youtu.be/aSAeOhCrv_s)
  • Tips: Firstly I’ll say that it is very difficult if you are the victim of sexism/ sexist assault in the spur of the moment because you may feel uncomfortable. However there isn’t anything that you did wrong to provoke them and there’s no right way to react.

  1. Have other girls and boys behind you supporting you not laughing along. Call people out who display sexist behaviour towards you.
  2. Come forward as soon as possible if it is in school or college the institution has a duty to protect you and demand they take action
  3. If this happens outside of an institution tell someone how you feel and if that’s too much effort report them.

Know your rights

Protection From Harassment Act 1997:  Makes it an offence to engage in something which is harassing, alarming or distressing someone.

Sexual offences Act 2003:  

A person (Let’s call them A) commits an offence if ..

(A) They intentionally touch another person.(B)

(B) The touching is sexual 

(C) Person (B) doesn’t consent to touching.

(D) Person A doesn’t believe that B consents.
I’m hoping that this blog has helped you if you have faced sexism or sexual assault.I don’t think it’s the most eloquent account but it’s been bothering me and this was a way of expressing my feelings. 

~SS

Posted in Blake, Creative Writing, London, Photography, Poetry, Writing

London

The mistress of fast pace and rushed time whose arms run through secret underground stations connecting towns.The mistress whose lips are pursed with an iron clamp and do not open to greet hello. Tutting at the sound of a northern who dares to cross the barrier. 

Whose bullet will stain my soul if I dare step through the Palace gates;housing the blood of men. 

Whose heartbeat scuttles around the city like a black inky snake filled ,with the poison of souls gone before. Whose voice is loudest alarming the hour through an instant chime. 

Whoes breath is dirty fume of coal filling the air like a dragons fire burning the lungs.  

The mistress of disgrace and tarnished reputation, whoes eyes no longer sparkle at the waking of the moon.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keats, Nature, Photography, Poetry, Weather, Writing

Sunset

Ink dabbled over a blue lit sky, leaking when prodded by clouds. Arms stretched to cuddle the blue, embracing the darkness.  

You lie , begging your eyes to remain open until your eyelids droop, cascading night,causing the sun to submit. Lightning up its own invisible world. A halo around a moon.

Darkness flies  like a Raven across the  sky until finally landing .It’s wings still , silent and calm. Echoing the sound of lullabys’ and crickets. Until you purse your lips, a hush fleeing across the land. You sleep, coldness your comfort blanket leaving your starry dreams to escape and twinkle like embers. Frost remennants, your broken dreams because you can’t remain forever. As the cold morning chill leaves your frosty , bitter breath on the land of man until your return.

Posted in Creative Writing, Keats, Literature, Poetry, Sex, Writing

The Stardust Lover 

(Sequel to lover at the other side of the road)

You gazed at me today , your eyes a lit with stars, blue ,twinkling. Your glance never left, my body on fire with a cool sheen of bliss. I could  feel the stardust bouncing, sending an electric buzz along my spine like dancing sparks. 

I felt your heart echo like thunder,its’ sound  like raindrops tapping on a metallic roof.Splitting  me in two. When you smiled doves escaped your lips , ,sending me branches of miseltoe and palms making me feel as if I found my missing peace of land floating in the abyss. 

Your speech an intoxicating wine ,my head dizzy with ecstasy which you never once tried to sober. Dreaming of what may become of us once our hands became intertwined ivy. Or the days spent roaming  in the garden whilst you explored my  flowery rose bed ,the dew on the petals as fresh as the morning sunrise. The droplets causing the tree to awaken and  rise to the heavens.  

And when the pains of our labours finally hit my stomach after spending days on my knees ,you’ll hold me in your arms and take the pain away your moonlit breath rocking me into a calm ,tender sleep. 

My lover made of stardust.