Posted in Acne, Body confidence, Body image, Feminism, Growing up, Writing

I’m not going to be ugly anymore.

Ever since I was nine my face has been dotted with acne , it was always a stigma that surrounded me people were put off talking to me because of my physical appearance; or at least that’s how it felt. I wouldn’t socialise and spent most of my breaks and lunch times in the library reading and I enjoyed that . There’s a point though to how long reading can last ,until you want to talk to people and you want them to like you . I used to try really hard and bring in sweets and share them round in hope that someone would actually want to talk to me ,or invite me to sit with them for lunch making the first three years of secondary school very difficult; I was just being used because in their eyes I was a “pathetic freak.”

I used to feel worthless, I never had suicidal thoughts but sometimes I thought it was better I disappear ; no body would care if I did. I used to be bullied about my appearance which has left me with lasting physical and mental scars ; often called “gollum.” , “ugly” , “juicy spot.’ , “shiny forehead.” . The list goes on .

Even though this happened several years ago the effects and their words are still felt. Kids can be cruel and think about things in the moment and I suppose if I told them all this today they’d apologise and say they didn’t mean it . But it’s too late . 

Today has given me the confidence to remove those labels from myself and fight those deamons in my head. In today’s society instagram ,facebook is filled with unrealistic images which we can’t all fit . Everyone has had trouble with their appearance and self esteem at some point. 

The thing is I’m not going to let those labels effect me anymore.   The only person who decides how beautiful I am is myself. People label and stigmatise because they have their own insecurities and things they hate so if they make someone feel worse  instead of building them up. 

I feel that if I never accept myself it will affect me and I don’t want it to because my acne will go eventually and I suppose a positive is I’m young enough to get it . Beauty starts from within, it is a combination of aspects that you have to find yourself.  Beauty is not simply aesthetic beauty it is confidence, intelligence, kindness and building each other up not breaking each other down like I’ve said in a previous blog.

Beauty is facing stigma and overcoming it and helping people face theirs. My acne scars are my battle wounds ,I’ve survived the battle and won it.

Here’s to a brighter more confident future.
SS

I have no makeup on !
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17 thoughts on “I’m not going to be ugly anymore.

  1. May I say, don’t let anyone else judge you, stand proud of who you are and what you want to become.

    Your personality from what I have seen through comments and also through your beautiful poetry is worth more than a million ‘perfect’ bodies or appearances.

    The personality lasts when the rest fades.

    Don’t let people bring you down, it’s hard, but they’re not worth it. The scares may remain, but you can get through it šŸ™‚ I know you can!

    Thanks for all of your care and help and support!

    NiceGuy

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Awww šŸ˜¦ no problem, you’ve given me care and support through some really dark and quite frankly suicidal times. Times that I felt so dark, I couldn’t see anything but.

        For small things like your occasional comment, does mean a lot, will always return the favour and mean every word I said.

        Can message me anytime you feel down, we all get highs and lows, it’s about remembering you’re not alone and how people care, even if they may barely even know you :’)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. YES! Loving the positivity in this post. Beauty definitely starts from within and the sooner we accept what we look like and who we are, we can start to focus on our positive aspects and ignore the things we’re not so happy about. There is, after all, also beauty in our imperfections. Great post.

    Would you be interested in writing/sharing a couple of articles on Creators.co? Iā€™d love to see more if this kind of content on the platform as we continue to branch out. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail for more information. You can find my contact details on my blog. Hope to hear from you.

    Liked by 1 person

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