Posted in Dead, Emotions, Exam stress, help

Help. 

I don’t know how to start this,I suppose I’ll start by saying I feel numb. I thought after coming back from Berlin I’d be fine and these thoughts wouldn’t come back. I came back from Berlin feeling ok about things ,particularly my exams I thought, ok it isn’t the end of the world if I don’t get the grades I want or I don’t get into a Russel group . I really don’t know what the matter is on the outside I am always known as the happy,jolly, kind person but inside I feel like I’m rotting and I’ve lost my spark I once had. 

I don’t know whether if it’s the exams or my mindset as a whole is going downhill. I’ve never said a thing to anyone about it because I don’t want to be judged and I suppose that’s why I’m writing on here , to clear my head and gain some clarity.

I’m in that awful panicky stage I have a got a good nights sleep since the beginning of March and my teacher had a talk with me saying I was the hardest working student he’d ever known and if I didn’t do so well he’d help me with university as it wouldn’t be out of not trying. 

Now I’m in the state of over sleeping ,now I don’t know whether it’s because of my time patters being messed about but I’m having 8-11hrs sleep on a daily basis. I’ve gotten myself into a vicious cycle where if I don’t revise it bugs me and I constantly have to do more. 

I’ve had nosebleeds in three days solid , woken up dizzy and had a knot in my stomach and this morning I’ve felt really awful, I can’t really explain the feeling but it’s been a mental thing and I don’t really know what’s going on.

I mean I’ve been out and now I feel alright but slightly guilty , but if anyone can help please do .

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2 thoughts on “Help. 

  1. I don’t know if I can help, been through a lot recently, I still write poetry to express, explain and clear my mind.

    I find this helps, immensely. Also talking to friends you have. I have been lucky, I have many friends, but a few I talk to about everything, they have been through rough times too. It means we all understand each other. Or try to.

    My poem from today, True Friendship, that has the picture my friend sent to me out of the blue after I had a rough night the night before and they helped.

    If you ever want to chat, about this, exams, stress or anything really. It may help as I’m a stranger and can’t judge. Also the fact as I don’t know you in person, sometimes I find talking to people I don’t really know and who don’t know me in person helps.

    Up to you, always around for a message. I hope everything gets better soon!

    Like

  2. I’ve always found that writing about how I’m feeling helps to get it out of my system. At the very least it can give you some perspective on what’s happening, and I think it’s important to keep that perspective – that this is what’s happening to you now, but it won’t always be that way. Try to look to the future without imposing rules or restrictions on yourself. The things that seem important now may not be important next month or next year.

    Liked by 1 person

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